What's the scariest part of flying for you? Courtney discovered that it was the hours leading up to her flight, not the flight itself that ruined her day. 

So how do you deal with what's going on inside you the day before your flight?  Even though Courtney left me a voice mail, it was easy to hear her anxiety and fear in her shaky voice.  She had called in the morning for a little reassurance for her flight later that evening. When I called back, she told me she was doing better but clearly she was really anxious about flying for the first time in two years. 

Then I asked her to stay in the present moment.  Be aware of how and where she was right now.  And she wasn't on the plane right then because she was talking to me!  I told her, "Courtney, you are not your thoughts."  And those thoughts were scaring the @*&%$! out of her.  She was thinking about flying and how anxious it made her feel.  It was downright ruining her day! 

I pointed out to her that right now as she was talking to me she had all that she needed.  She was safe.  She was okay. 

It's not that I'm so smart and automatically know what to say to fearful flyers.  And it's not that I don't understand what it's like to be dreading something that's going to happen to me several hours down the road, because I do.  But that's just it--worry is focusing your energy on something down the road, the future.  I've been reading Eckhart Tolle's book A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61).  It's totally changed my awareness that I need to be here focused on the present moment--right now, what my fingers feel like as I type this blog entry and the sounds of the clicking keys. 

Try it.  Where you are right now?  Jon Kabat-Zinn calls this ability to stay focused in the present "mindfulness." He was featured in an article in O Magazine, and I was particularly struck by something he said that I know I'm guilty of.  He said we live out lives so mindlessly unaware of the present moment that we might as well be saying,  "Having fun, wish I were here." 

Are you having fun right now here in the moment, or are you about five hours out from now? Or maybe you're back replaying yesterday.

Let's apply this to fearful flyers.  Fearful flyers like Courtney definitely are not "having fun" in the present moment the day of the flight. Fearful flyers are already feeling the miserable feelings they think they'll have when they're flying.  Maybe they're replaying a bad flight in the past with horrible turbulence and they're reliving it over and over.  At any rate, in their anticipation of the flight, they're not thinking good thoughts about it.  They might as well already be on the plane! 

When those feelings of dread (the fancy term is "anticipatory anxiety") begin, stop and feel your toes.  Wiggle them.  Clench your fists.  Feel your beating heart.  Exhale slowly.  Inhale deeply.  Focus on just one moment at a time.  Tell yourself that now you have all within you that you need at this particular moment.  Stay in your body and keep noticing your breath.  Meet each moment exactly this way until you're back where you're supposed to be... IN the present--not ON the airplane but in your office or in your car or in the terminal.  

I admit that it takes some practice to be aware of the present moment. And you'll want to be sure to tackle this practice before the day you fly.  But there are all kinds of gifts to be found in the present.  The lovely spring day and the color of the new leaves.  Your daughter's goofy smile.  A neighbor's friendly wave.  Birds singing for absolutely no reason.  Each breath you take that occurs without your thinking about it.

Why would you want to be worrying about flying when right now this very moment holds such wonder?